WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

 

Remember that old song “Alfie?”  “What’s it all about Alfie?”  That question has been on my mind for the past few days and I’m still not sure I have the perfect answer, but I think I’m getting closer to the truth.

Bill and I attended the wedding of one of our friend’s daughters two week-ends ago.  It was a beautiful wedding in a beautiful setting on Marco Island, FL.  The bride was beautiful and the groom handsome as they walked down the orchid strewn pathway on the beach to take their vows.  The parents and guests were watching intently with teary eyes as the vows were read and the “I do’s” said.  While sitting there in awe of all the beauty and raw emotions that were laid out by so many for everyone to see, I started to ponder…what is it REALLY all about?

As I looked around at the 100+ guests, I couldn’t help but wonder how many were still in their first marriage; how many had one behind them, and how many had even more wrecks behind them, and how many were still searching for that “right” or “perfect” one.  How many had regrets about decisions to let relationships collapse, realizing later that maybe they had the perfect one all along but didn’t realize it until it was too late.  I also wondered how many were in relationships where they had “lost” themselves or were being smothered by catering to their spouse’s desires while neglecting their own.  I couldn’t help but think of a quote from Henry David Thoreau “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”  If this is true, could the same not be said for most women?  If so…WHAT is it that all about? 

Does sanity get in the way of emotions or do emotions get in the way of sanity?  When we are young hormones are raging, and can, in some cases, over-rule sanity.  Could it not also be said if we wait for what we perceive to be the “right” moment or the “right” person, we could miss out on the perfect relationship?  My parents were married for 53 years before my dad passed away.  Does that mean they were always happy?  Not necessarily; yet they remained committed.  Is that what it is all about?  On the other hand, I have a friend who not only has been married eight times, but five times in succession to the same man!  Never giving up.  Only after his death was she able to move on to another relationship.  Could that be what it’s all about?

Recently a friend admitted to me that he wished he could turn back the clock and change his decision made years ago to walk away from a relationship to move on to what, at the time, he perceived to be “greener pastures.”  Now in his “golden years” he is totally alone, facing mortality, and all the questions and doubts that go along with it. Is THAT what it’s all about?  I hope not.

At the end of the day, as twilight settled upon the beach and the bride and groom and guests moved into the ballroom for an exciting and celebratory evening, I began to think, maybe there isn’t an answer or at least one that fits all.  Maybe we should just take life’s twists and turns as they come along, doing the best we can as we move through this maze called life.  As I watched the glowing bride and her handsome groom gliding throughout the banquet hall holding hands and accepting congratulations from friends and family, I couldn’t help but think maybe, just maybe, with a lot of work and a little luck, love and friendship is what it’s all about!   Which brings to mind another one of my favorite songs, ”Don’t Worry…Be Happy!”